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After I paid for dinner, I kindly said it was ‘nice to meet you’ got in my car and went to the bar. She followed me to the bar, and when I got out of my car proceeded to berate me over why I was going out instead of going home.

First off, I couldn’t believe the waitress asked, but then was floored at the girl’s response.

I don’t know what got in my head, but I picked up my plate and dumped it into his lap.” “I was supposed to meet this woman, Mary.

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I picked her up from her parents’ place (we were both home from college for the summer) and was a little surprised by how pretty she was. I felt a gas pain, so I leaned forward slightly to quietly relieve the pressure. I walked out of the bathroom, muddy-panted, out of the bar, and boarded the train for home.

The pictures had been from when she was in high school, and didn’t do her justice. Dinner went really well, we had a lot in common, she was very grounded and down-to-earth, cared about the environment. So as we’re walking to the movie theater, I slipped my arm around her waist. ‘I’m really sorry, because you seem like a nice guy, but … I just went out with you to make my parents happy.’ Sitting through The with her was the most awkward two hours of my life.” “I went on a blind date with the investment banker son of one of my mother’s friends. A little on the short side, but he has a cute face and seems fit. He gets a few drinks in him and we have a conversation about jobs/stuff/blah blah but then it arrived at who we admired. Patrick Bateman from , just, ya know, without the killing and stuff. I tell him the night is over, gave him some money, and said that he could take the public transportation home.” “I wasn’t feeling great, but decided to meet her anyway. The humiliating date was nothing compared to the horror of the following three weeks recovering from E-coli.” “A friend I had recently met set me up with her friend Gary. We have an okay time over coffee, talking about regular random small talk topics.

I freak out, ask him what he is doing, and he says ‘What does it look like? I was kind of at a loss at this point, and I think all I did was say something about how he needs to leave – he removes his hand from inside his pants (did I mention he was wearing sweat pants? I never heard from him OR the woman who introduced me to him again.” “I went on a blind date with this guy who seemed really sweet. The food was great, the atmosphere was fantastic but at the end of the main course, he whipped out his phone and started showing me pictures he’d taken of his d—.

Like different angles, lighting, dynamic effects I rode with him to the restaurant, so I had to sit next to him on the ride home and fight the urge to fling the door open and tuck ‘n roll.” “First, he insists on opening doors for me.

About two minutes later her phone rings again and it is the same ‘OMG, no way! The waitress comes over and we order drinks while she is still on the phone and I twiddle my thumbs. I’m half done with my drink and have waved the waitress off once already because Lisa is still on the phone.

So trying to change the subject, I mention the frat that he was in (we both went to the same university) and that I knew some of the guys. At this point, I’m more than over the date and ready for him to get out of my apartment – so I go to the restroom and plan on feigning illness upon my return.

He then proceeds to tell me that, yeah all his friends were just vehicles for him to get ahead in life and that he didn’t really like any of them. I return from the bathroom only to find him on my couch, masturbating furiously.

If we’re going to date, there’s a few things you need to do.’ He was not joking, he genuinely wanted me to do the following: 1. People near us overheard this and began craning their necks, trying to look at me and see what was so ‘awful.’ He ticked off all the things I needed to change and then sat back, smiled and asked when I would be able to get started.

The server came back with our meals and I have a lovely plate of pasta in front of me. About 15 minutes after I was supposed to meet her, a woman walks by.

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